


Maruniya

by Scarlet_Thorrn



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Action, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Romance, Sparklings (Transformers) - Freeform, parenting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-26
Updated: 2013-08-22
Packaged: 2017-12-16 07:16:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/859387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarlet_Thorrn/pseuds/Scarlet_Thorrn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>G1/Prime: Skywarp Starscream Thundercracker. All respectable Decepticons in their own rights... So what would it take to change them? To change their Trine for good? What would make one of them run away from the 'cons- to the 'bots, leaving his brothers, not expecting to be fallowed by them? Love? Old friends? Hmm how 'bout a little reminder of the old days? So, a Sparkling perhaps?</p><p>Warnings:</p><p>Not really anything at first, but mention of rape not far in does occur. Rather dark starting from chapter 3, though, but it gets lighter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: A Seeker's Code

**Author's Note:**

> This story is also up on fanfiction.net-
> 
> http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8956360/1/Maruniya
> 
>  
> 
> I decided to post it up here, too :). I'm already a little bit into it, so expect updates quick. :D This story is about the elite Trine, and basically what I thought to do to somehow twist their story into line with becoming Autobots... 
> 
> Please enjoy! Any comments you should have would be lovely. :D

 

**Maruniya**

Prologue:

_A Seeker's Code_

* * *

 

**~Skywarp~**

_**One shall protect the young always.** _

I step towards the limp frame.

_One shall defend the innocence of their spark._

I pause, hesitant.

_One shall never allow the weak to suffer._

I shake off the odd feeling, and lift up the aging iron bar, freeing the trapped innocent.

_One shall guard safe those who can not hope for themselves._

A moan sounds, and a regretful smile plays to my lips.

_One shall forever lift up the ones that fall._

Lifting the damaged frame, and holding her to my chest, I brush off the scattered dust and cradle the slowly breathing sparkling.

_For to not do so, would be to betray the young, the innocent, the weaker, the blessing, and the free of sin._

I close my optics, my smile unfading. For the first time in a long time, I've obeyed my natural programming, and feel my spark flutter. Lifting the sparkling to my shoulder, I pat her across the back and glance at the rubble surrounding us. I need to fly, get away before this whole thing comes crashing down! But I know I won't leave her here... No. No that isn't even an option! But where can I go? Going back to the Decepticons with a sparkling that Megatron would tare to pieces the moment he saw is-  _unacceptable._   _But to where then?_ My Trine-Mates could help... They  _would_ help!.. Wouldn't they? I know Thundercracker would. Starscream... Well, my elder brother can be a bit...unpredictable at times, but surly he would see that we need to help this innocent!  _Wouldn't he?_   _And what if..._

Suddenly, I'm having second thoughts...What if Cracks' doesn't really help? What if I'm all wrong about this? What if I  _am_ wrong?! What if I should have just flown away and left her here!? What have I gotten-

The sparkling who rests on my shoulder whimpers and snuggles closer to me, searching my heat. I hold her closer, unwilling to let the almost ' _harsh'_ winds of Upper-Canada harm her. That is, if you can call this mid-fall breeze 'harsh'. Honestly it's not more than a cool touch to the wings, but to a sparkling... I need not struggle to remember that it is all too easy for them to freeze.

Struggling to keep my cool, I gently stroke her back, and lightly caress her wingtips. Whether she's a Seeker or something else doesn't matter right now, all that does is getting her away from this wreckage of the battle. I frown at that. As of usual, the Autobots kicked out tailpipes, and as always, Megatron called for us to retreat. Well, not 'always'...just usually...if you can call the usual 10/1 for us.

Tilting my helm, I look at the little sparkling. She shivers as she draws away from me slightly. Her emerald optics gleam as she peers into mine, obviously interested. But hunger and fatigue overcome curiosity, and she slumps against me, her helm tilting so she can still stare at me with wide, bright optics.

I force a comforting smile onto my faceplate, and ignore the silence of her stare. It hurts. I wish she were laughing, crying, beeping,  _anything_  other than the silence! It's as if she doesn't believe I'll stick around to help her, and I'll just leave her behind.  _Like the others...?_  I allow myself to shudder once before pushing the thought back. No. Not right now. I can think about that later. Not now. It doesn't matter if we are both used to abandonment or whatnot, it only matters about making a decision!

I look to her once more, her pleading gaze offers little comfort...but then suddenly an idea pops up...

I can't bring her back to the Decepticons but what if...

_...The Autobots could help..._

I swallow a breath... No! What am I thinking?! I'm a  _Decepticon!_ A  _'con_!  _They'd never help me! And then what would they do to her!?_ I start to feel panic creeping into my system. I sallow a shudder and look back to the sparkling. The more I look at her, the more I try to think, but- damn... I'm not known for my processor or great idea's... Well, I guess I could be. I mean, everybody knows it was me who decorated base in red with dashes of pink and scarlet roses and loving hearts for Valentine's Day... Well at least Knock Out liked it.

I sigh, but my helm whips up as I hear rocks beginning to crumble and what remains of the crashed shuttle starting to give out from under us. We shake physically, and that's when I know I need to leave! Gripping the sparkling, I hug her close to my chest as I spin on a heel and dash from the cave-like structure! My breath races and I bite my lip. _Faster!_ I think, but I'm already sprinting as quickly as I can! Dread clutches me as the 'building' shakes again. I see the light at the end of the tunnel... If I could just transform fast enough, I could speed out of here and save myself before it collapses. But then I would have to leave- My optics narrow. No. That is unacceptable.

Gritting my denta, I jump forward as a rock the size of my chest smashes into the ground and rolls downwards through the tunnel.

Dust clings to my optics and I let out a annoyed grunt. It burns further when I crouch to duck under some fallen components of the crashed shuttle, and the air almost blinds me as I hurry to stand again. The ground shakes and I let out a slight cough. I hear the sparkling whimper and I can't stop myself from murmuring. "We'll be O.K.!" My tone is strained and full of suppressed worry, but it's as calm as I can muster it to be. And to my relief, the little one whimpers only once more before again cradling herself into a ball on my chest. Normally, I'd smile at the sweet site and the flutter in my spark- but not today! Dashing forward, I hold my breath. Closer... Closer... Closer... Finally I'm just about at the exit!

The cave grumbles hatefully and a rock over half my size crashes in front of me! Luckily, being almost as slim and sleek as my older brother, Starscream, I don't bother in questioning hopping up, and literally sliding through the gap in the rocks. There's curve in the floor, though, it dips just under where the rock fell, giving all the more height to my fall. I give a painful howl as I land in an awkward position and my ankle gives out, so rendering I almost crash to the ground. Gripping the rocky/metal wall beside me, I wobble up the last bit of the cave, my free servo wrapped around the sparkling protectively.

My only thought is to break free of this hellhole, and I find myself  _praying_ for anyone to help me!  _Primus!_   _Or anyone! Please, please, please help me! I can't let her die in here!_ I let out a whimper as the cave rumbles again. I know I'm not going to make it.  _Oh dear Primus, help me!_ I squint my optics shut, unable to watch as the cave truly starts to collapse around me. "So this is how I shall die." I murmur my last thought to the sparkling still wrapped in my tight embrace. I refuse to let her go. Nauh. Not for one second! "I'm sorry that this happened to you...and that I couldn't save you..." I whisper ever so quickly to her as I painfully jump out of the path of another falling rock. The cave is starting to collapse in on itself from the back forward, but as I try to again hobble onwards the dread and another wave of realization passes over me. There  _is_  no way to make it. "And I was so close..." I whisper my final words as a rock breaks loose from atop of me. Cradling the sparkling in my arms, I refuse to let her go. And the events flash through my processor...

The Energon signal from the crashed ship both factions tracked to this site. The battle, quick and to the point. The others fleeing. The sharp cry I heard when I onlined my optics again. The pain I felt as I slowly made my way towards it. The shock of seeing the Sparkling trapped there, under the beam. And finally now, the fear as I consider my last moments. I should have ran. But I didn't. I should have never fallowed the scream that echoed around in the dark hallways. But I did. I shouldn't have tried to save her. I don't even know who she is!.. But I did.

I peer into her emerald optics just as the shadows begins to quicken in its pace. It only is going to take a moment, but I feel like every millisecond takes hours to pass. All because of that wonderful, bright gaze. Such innocence... Such pity... Such sadness, as now, she will never grow into adulthood...

My optics narrow, and my spark freezes. Unacceptable. I jump from the ground! My one working thruster surging to life! It's the twisted one, which makes it all the more painful- but I ignore it as my Energon boils in my veins and I leap into the cool breeze of the outside world!

The crashing sounds not a moment later and stuck in mid-air (my thruster no longer firing) I twist my frame so to land on my back. I connect with the rocky ground and I wince as a sharp pain throbs in my right wing. Allowing my helm to hit the gravel-like stuff, I take in a few long, deep breaths.

I stare at the blue sky. Its unchanging, solid blue depth is forcing my possessor to peak into reality again.

A tiny, thin servo digs itself into my chest. I let out a groan, the slight wound paining me more than it should.

Bolting upright, I have just enough self-control not to glare and shout at the Sparkling. And it's good I do, for her grip on me fails and she slumps forward, nuzzling hopelessly onto my chest.

My temper softens and I stroke her little helm. "Little one..." I murmur to the child softly. She gives a tired squawk. She is still conscious, but that fact probably wont remain true. Not for long at least.

I sigh. I know I need to do something, and frankly, the risk is well worth it if I'm to save her.

Tossing her high into the air, I quickly transform as she squeals in surprise (and possibly delight) and I make sure to catch her carefully in my alternate form. Actually taking the time to operate the seatbelt, I strap it around her tightly, before closing the roof.

I take in a sharp breath, bracing myself for the next-to-unbearable pain I know is to come, before rebooting my flight systems, and taking off towards the now known Autobot base.

 _Never thought I'd go crawling to them for help._ I think to myself gruffly, trying to ignore the aching, throbbing pain in both my processor and my frame. I give a huff, but decide to pass the time. ":Well little one, whatever happens, I can at least say  _you'll_  be O.K.:" I inwardly smile as she claps her servos with a giggle. She probably has no idea what I'm saying.

Turning my thoughts to the sky, I let out a sigh as the wind rushes past my wings, making a slight shudder tickle my circuits. I forget some of the pain nagging at my processor and concentrate on flying as quickly as I can. ":Come on, little one, let's find a way to get you home.:"


	2. Chapter 1: Good Deeds and Breaking Oaths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skywarp makes it to the Autobots, but how will they react to both him and the sparkling? And now, back over at base, how are Thundercracker and Starscream dealing with their younger brother's absence? What will they do? What can they do, besides hope for the best?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter needs editing, (as does the last) but people seemed to like this story, so I decieded to get off my lazy bum and post the next chapter.
> 
> Ooh! And now we have some POV's from both TC and Screamer, too! :D 
> 
> ~Please enjoy!

**Maruniya**

Chapter 1

_Good Deeds and Breaking Oaths_

* * *

**~Thundercracker~**

**I**   **watch and I wait.**  My intakes cycle quickly as I look out to the sky again.  _He's not coming. He's not coming._ I think to myself for possibly the millionth time. An involuntary shudder dances up my spine causing another wave of panic to caress me.

A comm. comes in from Soundwave, breaking the almost eerie silence and forcing me to pause. ":Thundercracker: summoned to the Command Center by Lord Megatron:"

I frown, but reply. "Of course, I'll be there at once."

Soundwave cuts the comm. and I waste no time in pulling myself back together, trying to appear confident as I hurry down to the Command Centre. It doesn't take long to reach the broad door to the room, and as I step inside, I glance to the right, spotting Starscream standing off in the shadows silently, his optics trained off elsewhere. I pass my younger brother a slight frown - one that he does not receive - and carry on to the center of the room where Megatron stands. "Lord Megatron," I greet respectively, giving a slight bow out of habit.

At first my Leader says nothing, his dim optics studying a large monitor across the room, then, his voice icy and emotionless, he states all business like and formal. "Skywarp has not returned, as you know."

I bite my lip, nervousness starting to wiggle its way into my spark. I'm ready to beg Megatron to let me go and search for him, but in the time being, only nod.

He still does not look to me, and there's a slight pause before he says darkly. "And I would most approve if you did not go out to search for him."

My intakes hitch, my voice cracks dry, and my ruby optics cycle wide. I can't keep down the horrified gasp that brakes from my throat. Through our Trine bond, I shove all the worry and distress I can towards Starscream, praying, that he'll come to my rescue and help my convince Megatron to allow us, or at least me - I can't bring myself to care at this point - to go and bring Skywarp back. Although the Trine bond could be stated as none personal, deep, meaningful emotions can still be pushed through, and judging by the way Starscream shifts from his concealment, I'm guessing he got the message.

"Master," Starsceam's careful voice fills in for my missing one. "It is best that we search for Skywarp, else-"

"Are questioning  _my_ judgment, Starscream?" Megatron's suddenly snaps, switching from deathly calm and icily collective to dangerously aggressive all in a moment.

"N-no!" Starscream stammers, he stands at my side now. His servos lightly trembling and optics slightly wider then usual. He knows where this is going, as do I, and it doesn't look the best for our brother. "It is just that if Skywarp were to be captured-"

" _Silence!_ " Megatron barks, "Soundwave! What is the probability of Skywarp's capture?"

I watch in silent horror as the Telepath steps forward. But something's off… I swear, he appears almost  _hesitant,_ and even passes a glance in my - no,  _Starscream's_ \- direction. The navy mech turns to his Leader, and ever loyal, says in that accursed monotone of his. "Lord Megatron. Probability of Skywarp's capture in possible highly damaged condition: 71%. Probability of permit deactivation: 24%."

"Tell me, Soundwave," Megatron suddenly gloats, "what is his chance of returning?"

"Probability of return: 5%."

Megatron smirks, "but is it certain that he will not?"

"Negative. Probability of return: 5%." Soundwave's stance shifts just barely, and I see him slide an almost  _apologetic_ look towards Starscream. Though as I look to my brother, I find only pleading optics whilst the rest of him remains completely indifferent.

Megatron nods and turns back to me, most likely preparing to dismiss us. I take in a stumbling breath. I can't let this die down yet. "Lord Megatron, please!" I suddenly find my voice and supply desperately, "I beg that you allow us to search for our-"

The Warlord cuts me off with a swipe of his servo. He scowls, his red optics dipping into deep maroon as anger swallows him, and he growls out. "Your brother is on his own. He's not a sparkling. If he can't take care of himself then that is  _his_  problem."

"But-!"

"Enough!" Megatron roars, slamming his fist down on the closest table. I wince, my tank twisting painfully in dread. Furry burns in Megatron's optics as he slowly takes heavy steps towards me. "Skywarp can take care of himself. If he dies then so be it. Understand that it is his fate not yours." He raises a hand to strike me, and I cringe, wings snapping down and optics shuddering off as I anticipate the unavoidable pain of the blow.

But it never comes.

My optics online and I face the sight of Megatron towering over me. "You are a Decepticon, Thundercracker," he says darkly. "Start acting like one." With that he turns and walks away.

I stare after him, dumbfounded and possibly even a little hurt... I joined Megatron's Cause vorns ago, and I'd like to think I've been unquestionably loyal through all of this. He should know that by now... I am a Decepticon. Nothing's going to change that. And I act like one too... I am one. I-

A tug on my arm draws me from my thoughts. I look up as Starscream begins to pull me from the room. I don't fight, and merely walk with him as he leads me from the Command Centre and down passageways and corridors. My optics are glued to the floor as we walk. I don't speak and neither does he. Through both our Trine-bond and the bond we were sparked with as siblings, I feel Starscream's concern, but when I glance up, his face is as impassive as always.

Suddenly though, we stop, and my gaze wonders around absently as Star' punches in a code and we step into a room. It takes a moment, but finally it registers where we are.

Without being told to I take a seat at the end of Starscream's berth. My shoulders slump and my wings droop. My spark feels pained. Not from Megatron's words, but from Skywarp's absence. I should have stayed behind. What was I thinking? Skywarp is such an idiot, he could be dead right now and- no, no he isn't dead. I would know if he were dead. We both would... But that doesn't help to settle the aching feeling in my spark.

"Hey," I hear Starscream say.

I look up, and he hands me a cube. Huh. I didn't even see him go out.

Starscream takes a seat beside me as I sip down the processed Energon. Refuelling is the last thing on my mind right now, but I might as well. I pause, though, and look at him. He just sits there, optics trained off in the distance. "Hey, you should eat something." I try to hand him the cube, but he shakes his helm.

"No, it's okay, I'm not hungry. I'm just..." he trails off and lets the sentence hang unfinished.

I sigh, "Come on, Star'. I know you're just as worried as I am." I try not to sound too mellow, but I know there's no way I can add any encouragement into my words.

Starscream takes a long breath, and silence echoes within the room for minutes. "Do you think he'll be alright?" he suddenly whispers.

I look to him again, and I see his optics water. I feel my own coolant starting to make blurry my vision and I gingerly place the empty cube down on the floor. "Oh, 'Warp..." I mutter, closing my optics and letting my helm rest on Starscream's shoulder. "I hope so, Star', I hope so..." He says nothing more and we sit there in silence, hoping with all that is in us that he'll return.

* * *

**~Skywarp~**

**The sun is dipping down into the sky at an alarming rate, and I wonder if we'll make it there before the night settles in.**  Flying after dark would mean death, as I want the Autobots to know I'm coming. I can blend into the night sky better than anyone in my faction, and I can be as silent as a feather if I so wish- so with that, comes surprise. And for once, I'm not aiming to sneak up on my enemies, or make an out-of-nowhere brake-in-and-attack.

No, I need them to see me, and I need them not to shoot me down the moment I'm spotted. I've considered comm. linking them...but that could back fire just as badly as it could work... And with a sparkling onboard, I can't afford to make any mistakes with this.

I heave a sigh, and tilt my wings up so I glide downwards. As I slowly fall, I listen to the soft breathing of the sparkling I rescued. I inwardly smirk as she turns over and murmurs a few incoherent words in her sleep, she fell into recharge hours ago, and she appears to be a rather heavy sleeper. No noise of rattling engines has awoken her yet, and so I am just content to let her sleep.  _This is insane, I realize that right?_ I start to remind myself as I split through heavy gray clouds.  _Me, going after little noises to save a life I don't even know! And now I'm crawling to the Autobots for help, hence I have no idea what the slag I'm doing!.. I'm such loyal Decepticon indeed._

I exit the thick, wispy line of clouds and dive a little further down. The light from the roaring bright red and orange sunset glares off into the sky, making me twinkle like a black diamond. Very spottable indeed. I just hope that the Autobots won't take that as a sign to shoot me down on site...

Pushing back the unsettling thought of deactivation, I try to concentrate my thoughts effectively on flying onwards to my destination, but again and again, questions arise...

Who is this sparkling? Why am I risking so much to help her? I know nothing of who she is, or where she came from. So why do I care at all?  _I really just should have left you there._  I think to myself cruelly. The sparkling shifts, and mumbles something incoherent. I smile inwardly, and before I know it, I've forgotten previous thoughts, and am mumbling. ":Hush, hush now little one...we'll be there soon, ya'll see.:" She turns over, and snuggles into the warm seat. I sigh, and, hesitating for only a moment, loosen the seatbelt - only slightly - just enough so she can lie more comfortably. She gives a soft purr of gratitude before she falls deeply back into recharge. Not that she was ever out of it.

Managing just barley to turn my thoughts back to the skies, I frown as dark memories of the past start to circle in my possessor...

_The air was warm, and the battle heated. I flew in, releasing a missile onto a random Autobot, and transforming to run to Thundercracker. To be honest, I had no idea why- he wasn't even having any trouble... I guess I was just kind of 'bored.' Nothing was really happening. I mean, sure we were all going at it like wild beasts, but that's nothing new now is it?_

_I spotted Starscream backed up against the cliff-side, just barley managing to hold off three Autobots. It appeared his left arm was deactive, as he was not moving it to the slightest. I decided that I could bug Thundercracker later, and dashed over to help my Trine leader. With a single punch to the right place in the lower back, the lone femme - a deep green one - stopped, and I was able to push her way easily. I felt almost kinda bad treating a femme like that, but these weren't your ordinary 'curl up and snuggle while watching a movie' femmes._

_I had learned that the hard way back when I was a rookie._

_Screamer was able to kick one of the mechs to the ground, and we both turned to find the last mech gone. I looked at my older bro and we both nodded. Looking out over the battle, we scanned the scene 'til finally he spotted something. "There! Look!" I fallowed his pointing servo (which had been temporarily switched into a claw for the battle) and my gaze came to rest over the crashed entrance of the ship._

_Both factions had fallowed a signal to that site. Due to a high Energon reading, it was too good for either side to pass up. And of course we just 'happened' to show up at basically the same time and things kicked off as usual. Prime and Megs' had their little dramatic speech with a surprisingly small amount of monologuing, and things went from there!_

_I nodded to my older brother and we started on our way up to the shuttle. But I found it rather...uneventful. Despite thirty or so Autobots trying to slag us as we breached the crashed ship..._

_This morning, I hadn't really been feeling myself, and throughout the entire day, I had felt relatively bored with the whole thing. As much as I hate to admit it, these past few weeks, I've been feeling...different. Nothing is amusing anymore, and I found myself at loss with just a longing. A longing for home._

… _I was homesick..._

_It had been centuries since I felt that, the calling for home... My real home. Vos. I wanted to see them again. I wanted my family. I wanted to see my Carrier and Sire! I didn't want to feel alone... Sure, my brothers were there. But what about Nightlily? How many vorns had it been since I last saw her? Since 'any of us' saw her? I missed her dearly...though, it is unlikely that we or I would ever see her again anyway._

_I was fighting in a war. Just another soldier..._

_Starscream and I ducked behind the forced open doors, and started firing at the mechs that ran at us. We managed to hold them off long enough for Thundercracker to show up. With the last member of our Trine, we ventured forth into the shuttle. Rocks and jagged pieces of metal blocked us at every turn, but with some persistence and a little help from my 'warping' ability, we managed to get through alright._

_Finally we found the mane energy source, and were about to extract when_ _**-** _

_**BOOM!** _

_The last thing I remember was Starscream and Thundercracker running out of a tunnel, and Megaton's booming voice to retreat…_

_I onlined hours later, I felt awful, and every movement pained me. But still I got up. I tried a communication link with base, but only picked up static. That's when I heard the soft cries echoing down the corridor…_

"DECEPTICON!"

I'm snapped out of my thoughts at the roar. I look to find, not far below me, are the Cybertronains I've been searching for all this time.

":Great," I mutter to myself, ":just great.:" I transform out of my alt form, and teleport both myself and the sparkling to the ground. Holding her close in the soft moonlight as I approach the Autobots…

* * *

**~Starscream~**

**"You can't be serious!" I exclaim, shocked.**

Thundercracker looks to me, his gaze dark and full of purpose. "Yes. I am." He sighs, his optics locked on the floor for a moment. He turns and gazes out at the midnight. "I'm going out to look for him, Star'...I have to... I promised  _her_  I'd look after him...that I'd look out for the both of you..."

My spark clenches at the mention of our carrier. My mouth clams shut and I take a step forward.

Thundercracker continues, "If- if something happens to Skywarp...then it'll be my fault... I have to go. I gotta look for him...and, you can't stop me. Please, Star', I don't want to fight you. Just let me go, and I'll take whatever punishment Megatron has for me." He turns slowly and looks into my optics, "What is it you say then, brother?"

My optics fall to the ground. The gentle night breeze sweeps in and tingles with my wings. I close my optics for a moment and breathe out, "You're disobeying direct orders..."

Thundercracker pauses and there is silence between us. Finally though, he speaks resentfully. "Orders my aft," he grumbles, "I'm going, and there's not a damn thing you can do to stop me." He sounds angry, distressed... Thundercracker walks out to the landing pad, "Goodbye, Starscream." His voice is heavy and void of emotion. He jumps and is about to transform when my helm snaps up.

"Wait!" I call, sprinting out to the landing pad after him. I grip his arm, "I'm coming with you!"

Disbelief flashes across my older brother's faceplate, "But what about-"

I cut him off with a shake of my helm, "It doesn't matter..." I give a half-sparked smirk, "Come on. Let's go find our little brother."

Thundercracker smiles warmly, his optics both brightening and dimming in gratitude, "Thank you." He murmurs, and we both transform and fly out into the night.

* * *

**~Skywarp~**

**I swallow hard, gripping the sparkling and hugging her closer to my chest.**

The female Autobot looks me up and down for a moment, her blaster still raised, before she spits. "What is it you want, Decepticon!?" She waits a moment, before charging up her weapon. "And what is it you hold!?"

Another Autobot steps up, and to my relief, he appears more calm then the angered femme. "Whatever you are holding," he starts carefully, his hands raised slightly- portraying he holds no weapon. "Put it down, slowly, and we won't have reason to harm you."

My voice is dry, and my chest, tight. I fight to form words, but they don't come out right, and it all sounds more like a frustrated whimper.

The calmer-looking Autobot takes a moment to glance at the femme, and gives her a nod. A look of utter disbelief crosses her faceplate and a scowl edges her lips. But the mech only turns back to me, and suddenly the weapons from the scout, the medic, and the femme have been lowered. The Autobot then takes a step towards me. I flinch, and he pauses. I look down into my arms, and hold the sparkling all the more securely, yet still remember to be gentle with the delicate frame. The Autobot eyes me for a moment, trying to discover what I hold- but looking back to him, I swallow and hold myself still. Every part of me  _screams_  to run as he slowly approaches, but I hold my place. I came here, and I can't turn back.

The Autobot stops for a second, and again looks me over. My breath stills and my spark stops. He takes a step closer. I don't move. He takes another. Still my frame is frozen. Slowly, the Autobot closes the gap, and so he stands only a few meters away.

My gaze wonders downwards and I look at my chest. The Autobot fallows my gaze, and I know the time is right. Letting out a slight sigh of tickling fear, I uncurl my grip on the sparkling, and turn her around so the 'bot can see her.

I hear a dozen gasps, and look up to see other Autobots present as well. And to my horror, Optimus Prime himself stands not far off from myself and the sparkling. It is then that I notice the light that is being shined on us. I squint, my scarlet optics not adjusted to the brightness, and again turn the sparkling so she rests on my shoulder. I don't look up. I just hold her close to me, while staring blankly at the ground. I couldn't hide that I'm afraid if my life depended on it, which it probably does...

"Hand him over." I hear the calm-looking Autobot's voice say, but it's sterner then what he has spoken previous, and I flinch. I swallow a breath, reminding myself that-  _This is what I came here for. Do what they say!_  I look up shyly, and holding down a shudder, gently pull the sparkling from my embrace. She whimpers at the sudden rush of cool air, and grunts as she is placed into unfamiliar servos. I firmly have to keep myself from cooing and hushing her.

The Autobot steps away, and stands closer to the medic that I've seen on some occasions. What is his name? Railgate? Or Rave-

My thoughts turn back to the Autobot leader as he suddenly steps in front of my slightly trembling form.

Prime looks to me, and he appears very,  _very_ serious. "What is your designation?" He asks sternly.

"Sky-Skywarp..." I answer immediately, unsure as of why. There is no chance they'll let my go, but all the same, Optimus Prime is no mech to play games with.

The Autobot leader frowns. He must know me...somehow.  _Oh scrap, I'm in for it._ I think, fear making my body tremble further. I feel it as it twists itself deep within my tank. It hurts, and I want to run. Get away and hide somewhere far, far away. But I don't. The wind rushes past me for a quick moment, and I think I almost relax. I feel the need to fly, but just knowing the wind is so close is enough comfort for now. But I doubt I shall ever fly again, really.

"Take him to the brig."

_Bingo._

The sparkling is handed to the medic, and I'm given a few strange glances by the gathering Autobots. I ignore them, and before I can be restrained, I look pleadingly at the medic, and say as quickly as I can. "She was trapped at the wreck of the ship- you have to look at her, carefully! She could have-" I don't have time to finish. A shock zaps through my frame! I'm stunned as sharp pain digs deeply into both joints and circuits, making a shaky howl pass my lips. A pair of stasis cuffs are slapped on my wrists, and I try not to wince as the femme grips one of my wings and starts to lead me away.

"Com'on you worthless 'con." She mutters harshly.

Ignoring the ache in my body, and the annoyance of the painful treatment to my sensitive wing- I twist my frame as far as I can muster to look once last at the sparkling. Her wide, emerald optics meat mine for just a moment, and she appears confused. Baffled, I pull out an encouraging smile, and say softly. "Manere fortis parvulus! Tutus es..." A servo swipes across my face, and I turn back to the femme. I don't speak, and merely watch as she tightens her hold on me and pulls me onwards. I wish I could look back at the sparkling, her calm gaze is the only thing that could offer me any comfort- but that is not an option now, so I must keep my back to the little one as I am led to my doom.

If I could, I would roll my optics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well! There you go! I hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> If you'd like to know why this chapter is called what it is, just read it.
> 
> Both Sky, TC and Star' all break Decepticon rules. Skywarp ventures to the Autobots (to save the sparkling) and his brothers disobey direct orders from Megatrom himself. But, while doing so, they are doing it for 'Good', therefore, you could say 'Good Deeds', while, of course, 'Breaking Oaths'.
> 
> I will see you all soon. I hope you enjoyed and please leave a comment on your thoughts, I'd love to hear what you think! :) 
> 
> Bye for now! 
> 
> ~Scarlet


	3. Chapter 2: Lonely Burdens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skywarp begins to sink into himself, fear and loneliness clutching across the shadow of his mind. Thundercracker faces the consequences for his rebellious, yet just actions. Though could it be Starscream who truly receives the pain of punishment? The future will be uncertain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why haven't I posted in so long? Cuz I've been a lazy bum. :3 I've also been busy, like, seriously busy, but yeah lazy too.
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway! {SPOILERS AHOY!}  
> Warning's for mention of rape in this chapter. Is it mention? Well...sort of...it's like an indication since y'all don't get to see anything.... Yup. Okkkaaaayyyy. Well, thanks so much to the people who've commented, I really enjoy them! :3 And to all those who are just reading. You guys are awesome! XD
> 
> ~Please Enjoy!

 

 

**Maruniya**

Chapter 2

_Lonely Burdens_

* * *

 

 

**~Skywarp~**

**Shifting so I lay across my front, my optics scan the room for perhaps the billionth time.** I should be recharging, building my strength for what I know is to come, but anxiety keeps me held tight within the world of the conscious.

Burying my faceplate in my arms, I force my optics shut, and hold down the almost overpowering urge to scream in frustration. I feel so worried, about, not only the sparkling, but my brothers as well. I blocked them through our bond, unable to face whatever they're feeling. Regret, satisfaction, sorrow, indifference...I really don't know… Holding back a sigh, I shake my helm. I can't keep my spark from pounding at the thought of them…  _Do they even care where I am? Are they worried, or have they even noticed?.. Could they be…glad…?_

I lay my helm on the stiff berth, my arms shifting so my wrists lay more comfortably. With the cuffs that have yet-to-be-removed still clamped around my armour, I can't 'warp' away; and can barely move, for that matter.

My thoughts turn over.  _I'll be deactivated…_ I think grimly.  _The Autobots will interrogate me for information…_ A groan escapes me _. I won't be able to last… There's just no way! And then, my brothers will be glad to finally be rid of me. They left me there, after all…_

My optics start to water. Curling up, I force back the tears. I can't cry. I'm a grown mech. A Decepticon warrior! Sniffling, I pull my legs to my chest, my wings drooping. My brothers don't care. I'll be deactivated, and… My body begins to tremble as my processor lunges at the thought.

Darkness… Numb sensors… Cold, icy solitary… Being utterly and undoubtedly alone… Forever…

My spark feeling heavy, I curl tighter and wrench the gathering coolant back.

As my processor turns to the sparkling, the smallest amount of hope bristles me. Prime wouldn't let anything happen to an innocent life, so she'll at least be fine. As for me…

Feeling cold and reluctant, I close off the cruel world, willing it all it go away. The joy, the sadness, the thrills, all of it. So that, if I can put it all back, then maybe, just maybe, it won't be so hard to part with.

* * *

 

 

**~Starscream~**

" **I expect this sort of thing from Starscream, but you, Thundercracker?** Disobedience has never been your style."

Thundercracker says nothing, though through our bond I feel rage starting to boil within him. But he holds the seething emotions back; answering Megatron would only result in more trouble, so rendering that we may never find Skywarp, and that he will be punished… And truly, I pray that Thundercracker will get out of this unharmed. Myself? Well, I've grown accustomed to Megatron's beatings over the vorns; this punishment no doubt will be exceedingly painful, but I will prevail. I always do.

We returned to the Nemesis mere minutes ago, unsuccessful in our search for our younger Trine-mate, and I'm already bowed down on my knees whilst Thundercracker stands before our Leader.

Megatron has wasted no time with us, and although I wait to be addressed, I know I'm in for the worst of it.

I give a sort of sigh, a small dent in the mass of re-ventilated air, and keep my head bowed. I don't know what to do. As much as I want to 'put-myself-down' for allowing Thundercracker to show a complete and utter disregard for direct orders, taking flight out after our younger brother, (and taking part myself no less!) I just…cannot… It's odd. I'm positive had it been anything else that caused me to be in this situation, I'd be bashing my helm against the wall!... But it isn't. Skywarp, my brother,  _our_  brother, is missing, and we don't know if he's even in or out of statis.

Skywarp must have blocked us, I can't come up with another explanation; but why? Typically, you would think Skywarp would comm. us the second he could! But…  _I just don't know… He could be dying, while we're here, doing absolutely nothing._ The thought makes me sick. Of course, the first place we checked (after trying, and failing, to get a hold of Skywarp) was the crashed-shuttle sight, but all we found was the predicable cave in. Whatever was in there before both factions fled is buried beyond hope of recovery. We scouted and surveyed the rest of the night, and well into the morning, before we were calmly and seriously ordered back to base by Soundwave…  _The..._

I jerk myself from the thought before it can begin.  _Nope. I refuse to think about that!_

Taking a chance to glance up, I spot Megatron staring down at Thundercracker. A grimace forms upon my lips and I look away. I pray my  _Master_  will have mercy on him…and me.

"Nothing to say for yourself?" Megatron grunts. "Well, then I believe you need to be taught your place."

My optics widen. The sound of a mech crashing into the ground in front of me makes terror start to boil in my spark. Thundercracker lets out a light groan, but other than that remains completely silent.

Out of the corner of my optic I see him lifted from the floor by a wing, and tossed carelessly into the wall.

I bite my lip, my frame beginning to tremble.  _Oh no…_

Megatron's crushing grip encircles my brothers neck cabling. He's lifted from the ground, and pined back against the bulkhead. A fist slams just below his cockpit! Thundercracker splutters, gasping for breath as his optics snap wipe.

Dread echoes in my spark. This isn't right. This can't be right!

Thundercracker is thrown back towards me. I shudder, wanting to shout a million things, but I bite back my glossa.  _I'll only make it worse!_

Pulled to his knees, Thundercracker groans. Megatron steadies back a fist, aiming to slam it into his faceplate.

My sparkbeat thunders at a thousand star streaks a second.

_No._

"Wait! No!" I yelp, finally lifting my helm and staring at him with large, pleading optics. "Megatron don't!" My intakes cycle quickly, my spark pounds.  _No! No more! This can't happen to him, too!_

Megatron looks to me, his gaze dark and his scowl deepening. He grips Thundercracker by the throat, keeping him effectively suspended on his knees.

A cold sneer edges onto my Leader's faceplate. "Oh what's this? Come now, Starscream… If your brother suddenly matters so much to you, then watch as I tear him apart."

Megatron tosses him away, straitens himself, then again walks over. A kick to the cockpit sends Thundercracker hurtling back, screaming as his helm bangs against the dashboard of a defective computer.

I look away, tears starting to spill from my optics. I take in a shaky intake, and try to push them away. "No…" I hear myself whisper, my spark giving long, painful cries.  _This isn't right… This is my fault…_

"Watch!" Megatron barks.

Dread fills me.  _No…I cant!_ I swallow hard.  _It will be worse for him if I don't._  Tentatively, I lift my gaze.

Thundercracker groans, trying to move. A heavy pede stomps on his back, and I watch in silent horror as Megatron grasps a wing and pulls back, causing a scream to fill the air. I close my teary optics, unable to watch any longer as I listen to the uncontrollable begging and pleas that escape my elder brother's intake as he screams for mercy. I know the move all too well, and my spark clenches at the thought of how much pain he is in. This is wrong. It should be me there, not him.

The sickening sound of whimpers and spilling Energon plays in my audios as I open my optics to the sight of Thundercracker frantically attempting to get to his thrusters.

Something inside me breaks. "Megatron please! Stop! He doesn't deserve this!" I cry out, tears begging to fall, but somehow, I hold them back.

Megatron growls, and backhands a struggling Thundercracker, knocking him to the ground again. Kicking him just below the cockpit, he reaches down and lands his fisted servo on his helm.

No moan, plea, or sound at all escapes my brother's intake. His optics seem to fizzle and his head lulls to the side. However, offlinement doesn't stay present for long. Megatron grabs a blue shoulder, and jerks TC to his pedes, effectively relieving him from whatever daze or moment of peace he secluded himself in.

"So, he doesn't deserve it?"

I stare at him, wide opticd and breathless, tears starting to slip from my eyes.

Megatron seems to consider something, something I can't quite decode.

"You two! Get him out of my sight!" I had forgotten about the drones. On cue, two identical soldiers rush forward, helping Thundercracker to his feat and leading him from the room. I stare after him longingly, but grateful that he is no doubt on his way to the med-bay.

 _Clunk, clunk, clunk._ Slowly, I turn my helm, and trembling, gaze up at Megatron.

"Well, Starscream, I suppose it is just you and me. Everyone else, leave the room immediately." The sound of shuffling pedes glide across the Command Centre, and Megatron adds darkly. "You won't want to be around to watch this."

* * *

 

 

**~Thundercracker~**

**_Consequence._ **

_I knew that was what awaited me. But I accepted that. And as Megatron beat me in front of my brother, I knew that I earned his punishment. I hoped that Starscream would understand this, too, and that he wouldn't do anything stupid. But I was wrong. Why? Why would he stand up for me? He said I didn't deserve it, but I did. I still do. I am a Decepticon. It's not in my right to disobey direct orders. So I did earn it. Though, that doesn't mean that I regret my insubordination. I needed to search for Skywarp. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to him when I know I could have acted… Starscream knew that. He knows that. So why? Why interfere and condemn himself?_

_Confusion._

_Logic no longer applies. Nothing makes sense anymore. I can see bots around me, above me, handing each other tools and speaking to each other. One stops to talk to me. But I cannot make out his words. My spark is too heavy. There are too many burdens weighing me down. Skywarp is missing. Starscream is being hurt. And why? I should have stayed behind to help 'Warp. I should have stood my ground against Starscream. It was my idea, not his. I suppose I convinced him to come. It was my punishment. My burden. So why? Why interject?_

_Frustration._

_I try to frown, but nothing happens. I can't feel anything. There is no pain, no anything. I can't move. I do not even know if I control my own thoughts. I can only feel what's inside. I can only relive my mistakes, and take in the sorrows that plague my spark. My troubles, my self pain, dignity and honour. I no longer know what is right or what is wrong. I am trapped inside my subconscious, alone, with only my feelings._

_Stirring._

_There is pain now, lots of it. More mental than physical, but I am regaining feeling. Yes. I can shift now. I can think. I am returning to my body… To where my nightmares no longer stay within my dreams. To where darkness overshadows my thoughts and decisions. To where I'm forced to act, to deal with problems and unjust pain. To where I must remain until I die._

_Regret._

_I am alive. Others are not so unfortunate._

* * *

 

 

**~Starscream~**

**Searing hot pain surges through my leg!** A howl, fallowed closely by grunts and whines stab through the air like knives. I clutch a severed Energon line, where the plating was ripped clean off, and stifle the bleeding.

My shoulder throbs as I try to shift myself into a standing position, and I realize that the joint connecting it to my chassis has been mortally served.

Putting my good leg under me, I grit my denta and haul myself up. I try to steady myself, but stinging pain shoots through my thruster as it touches the cool metal. Biting back a cry, I take a few breaths, and slowly look up to my Leader.  _I won't let him win_. I think to myself.  _I have to keep getting up. It's one thing to hurt me, but it's another to hurt my brothers!_

A servo swipes across my faceplate, knocking me to the floor and causing my collapsed ankle-joint and injured leg to land in an awkward position, calling more pain to rush to my sensors.

Sliding my one working arm under my chest, I push back a scream, and force my body to sit up. Gripping the wall for desperately needed support, I again pull myself back up. Hobbling on one pede, I stare at the floor, my spark pounding as I wait to be thrown to the ground.

A crushing servo grasps my wing. I groan, willing myself not to cry out as Megatron slams me back against the wall. "Always so disobedient…tsk tsk tsk, when will you ever learn, Starscream? Time after time again, I'm forced to punish you for your insubordinations. And time after time again, you only end up submitting. Why then, do I ask, that you continuously get in the way? It will bring you nothing but pain, you fool."

His words sting like ice. Hate twists in my spark, overpowering the pain and urge to beg for mercy. It fuels the traitorous rebel I know is buried within me, and I find strength.

Cracking an optic open, I pant for circulation, and stare at the Warlord who looms over me. Something within me makes me grit my denta and snarl at him. Although this punishment is far from over, I push to gain ground anyway.

I won't let him win. Not this time.

"Because,  _Megatron_ …" I spit, optics flashing and spark pounding. "Unlike you, I have a reason to live, other than power."

Megatron laughs. Full out, uncontrollable, insane laughter pierces my audio receptors. "Oh, really now! Then please, do tell, dear Starscream, what would that be?"

The image of Thundercracker, beaten and broken, fills my processor. Another, of Skywarp, laughing and ultimately knowing no bounds when it comes to having fun, fallows suit. Then they are there together, and the image quickly grows. In less then a second, I'm staring at the full picture of my entire family. I'm staring at all the people I love, and loved…all those bots, the ones that I've had to say the final 'Goodbye' to as I watched them be buried within the cold, lifeless ground forever, stare and smile at me, willing me on, giving me courage, and forcing back the fear that threatens to consume me.

My optics widen. And before I even bother to think it through, I give out the secret that's held my spark in place throughout all this time.

"My family."

Scarlet optics cycle wide, and there is silence for one brief, sickening moment. Then Megatron's gaze refocuses on me. He appears unnervingly calm. I watch as his mouth curls into a twisted, hallow smile, sending shivers down my spine, and making me cringe back into myself, wings shuddering and drooping.

His raspy voice dipping into a deep, silky purr, he says unnervingly softly. "Your family pushes you on, then? We shall see what they will think of you after I am done with you."

Confusion is my first assailment, than fear.

A servo grasps my wrist and begins to drag me away from the wall. I try to summon the strength the fight, but I find myself whimpering along; pain continuously surges through my leg, dimming the sour from my other wounds and making me hobble.

I can barely pay attention as he leads me through a door and into a corridor. I bite my glossa, temporarily, yet effectively, cutting off howls that want to escape my vocalizer.

Another jolt zaps through my frame! I feel tears prickling at my optics, threatening to fall like rivers; but I push them aside, promising myself that I can cry later, when I'm done being tortured and safely tucked away in my quarters. In the mean time, I have to stay strong.

We ascend up a flight of stairs, Megatron drags me most of the way as I'm finding it increasingly difficult to walk on my own two pedes. No thoughts or words help. None of it lessens the pain in the slightest. I take a chance to glance down at myself, and find a large, open wound, practically gushing Energon, buried deep in my leg. Several wires fizzle and cough electric charges, sending unpleasant tingling sensations through me. I look away, not daring to glance at my mangled wing, shoulder, or thruster. I just have to tell myself I've been through worse. And in truth I have. Often enough I'm unable to walk by the end, so… A sinking sensation grips me. Where  _are_  we going?

I'm just starting to take notice of my surroundings when Megatron comes to a steep halt. He quickly enters a pass code, and we step into…

My spark freezes. Confusion mixed with an awful sense of vulnerability bombard me.

I'm gripped from behind, and slowly pushed towards a closed door across the room. I don't look around. I keep my optics focused on that one door, wondering what lays behind it and what is going to happen to me... I'm pushed into the room the second the door slides open. I've never been in Megatron's personal quarters before, and for just a moment, I let curiosity over take me. The room is fairly simple. A large berth. A desk stacked with a few data pads. And a few...other objects I'll probably never get to see as I'm shoved forward. Stumbling onto the soft berth, I wince as pain jabbers through my frame. Again, confusion.  _What's he...?_

My optics widen.

And so it snaps into place.

"No!" I try to push myself from the berth, but something slaps around my wrists, and a servo slams down on my lower back, limiting my movement. My wounds ache from struggling and my frame demands to stay still to repair itself! I grit my denta, tears slipping down my cheeks.  _This can't be happening!_  Pain shoots through me, stinging sensors and causing a helpless whimper to fill the air. I tilt my helm, trying to summon some strength to fight.

Megatron climbs onto me, his faceplate a mask of indifference. A brush to my side sends shivers dancing through me.

His servos drifts lower, and through the pain, I feel him gently forcing a certain panel open.

My optics widen and my jaw drops, even through the interminable pain, I find it within me to struggle.

_No…_

"My dear Starscream…" Megatron purrs, his other servo dropping out from my line of sight.

_No!_

"You have disobeyed me too many times, and this time, I'm afraid your punishment will have to be a albeit…mmm,  _different_  from what you're used to."

_No, no, no!_

I struggle further, tears flowing like endless rivers from my optics.

_NO!_

He readies himself, pinning me and putting an end to any of the fruitless struggles. "I'm afraid this will hurt," he says without the smallest bit of concern. "Hold your breath," he chuckles darkly.

… _No…_

And I can only pray, with tears running down my cheeks, that I'll survive the night with my port intact as he forces himself upon me…

I gasp! A long, agonizing scream breaks from my lips, and I have to block any bond I've ever had to keep this pain to myself.

* * *

 

 

**~Thundercracker~**

**I stand down at the end of the corridor, my spark beating uncontrollably.** I left the Med Bay only a few minutes ago, unable to bare sitting there as my little brother receives a far worse punishment, I'm sure, to what I did. I hold back unjust tears. It's so unfair. He is blamed for everything, whether it actually be his fault or not. Megatron just takes it all out on him, and…and… It was my fault.

I shake my helm, wanting to lay down and cry. There's nothing I can do to protect him from our Leader. I can only hope that Megatron is in a forgiving mood.

I lean back against the wall warily, fear twisting deep within me. A servo glides to my chest. At first, I could feel a slight discomfort, a fraction of the pain that Starscream is feeling, but now he has blocked me, which unsettles me greatly. What is happening to him? What is Megatron doing? Is this just another beating, or…is…he going to go as far as to permanently deactivate his Second in Command?

A shiver caresses me, and my mind involuntarily turns towards a more…subtle subject; namely, Prime and his merry group of Autobots.

Throughout the entire time my little brother and I were searching for Skywarp, I couldn't shake the hunch that the Autobots are holding him captive… Though, I can't imagine why that would be. When we retreated from the battlefield, I had been so sure Skywarp was right behind us…but could it be possible that Prime or one of the other Autobots went back, discovered him, and arrested him?

I sigh at that. No. No I have to believe 'Warp's out there…that we actually have a chance at finding him…

I close my optics, and listen to the silence. All I can do, is wait.

And so I do.

Time blends well within itself, I wait and nothing changes. Drowsiness has started to creep up into my system, but I continuously push it away, unwilling to bend to recharge. I know Starscream will need me.

At one point my processor wanders. I think back to when I was laying in the med-bay, I remember lingering...somewhere. It is difficult to explain... I-

A rush of emotions rack through my spark! I gasp, understanding at once.

"Starscream!" I take off, not caring for the mechs who give me odd looks as I rocket by. I round a corner, and spot him lying in his side just outside the Command Centre. Without hesitation I dash forward, my spark pounding as I frantically try to analyse as much of the damage as I can. And from what I can see from this distance, it doesn't look good.

I fight back a bawl and keep sprinting. Finally, I'm just about there! Gritting my denta, I jump to stop myself from colliding with him, and cautiously step towards the sobbing frame of Starscream.

But I almost immediately come to an abrupt stop, staring in absolute horror as my little brother sobs in pain from multiple wounds, and clutches his exposed, still bleeding port.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Personal Rant: Why is it always rape!? :'(
> 
> *Shudders* I really, really hate myself right now… I'm just…yeah…
> 
> Anyway... But, did the whole, "My Family" thing seem WAY OCC? I mean, I'm not sure where it even came from! I was just writing, an then this little reason for Starscream's constant persistence, whether he acknowledges it or not, just popped up and /demanded/ that I write it down! I want to know what you guys think about it, and if you think I…*gulp*… maybe…went too far... *fidgets*
> 
>  
> 
> Important note: (At the beginning) Skywarp doesn't normally think like that. He knows his brothers care about him. I just want to get that clear. He's stressed and freaking out cause he's worried about the sparkling and himself. He knows that the little femme will be taken care of, /"Prime wouldn't let anything happen to an innocent life,"/ but he himself is far from innocent, and he's scared that he'll be deactivated. To be honest, I can't blame him. Who wouldn't be at least mildly terrified?
> 
>  
> 
> Origin Of Chapter Name: I had a lot of trouble naming this chapter, but I settled on "Lonely Burdens" simply due to that both Skywarp and Starscream block their wing mates as, I believe, they see it as they should keep this to themselves. Bare The Burden On Their Own… Therefore, it is a Lonely and Solitary Burden. For Starscream, it is not just that fact that he was…well, yeah…but also how he is regularly beat by Megatron.
> 
> (SPOILER ALERT!) You will see later on in the story about how he keeps his pain to himself, and, well, I don't want to give to much away ;P!
> 
>  
> 
> Well! I hope you enjoyed. X3 Please leave a comment as I'd love to hear your thoughts :3
> 
> See you soon! 
> 
> ~Scarlet :3


	4. Chapter 3: Darkness of Mind (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sparkling is a Seeker, Skywarp worries for her... Thundercracker is afraid...and so terribly sorry for Starscream. But Screamer himself cowers away from affection, thinking himself dirty; disgusting. 
> 
> What will happen? Read on to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! Yeeeaaahhh... It's been awhile.... I've been lazy... Heh heh.... But! Here's the chapter! :D

**Maruniya**

Chapter 3:

_Darkness of Mind_

* * *

**~Optimus Prime~**

**A frown plays to my concealed lips as I watch my Chief Medical Officer, Ratchet, place the sparkling, huddled up tightly in a thermal blanket, down upon the soft surface of the berth.** "She's defiantly a Seeker," he says gently, starring down at the tiny, shivering frame of the child. "I wonder..." he trails off, the question on all our processor's hanging in the air.

I give a light sigh, barely a dent in the mass that surrounds us. I know that I am the one that needs to speak with the Seeker we hold in our brig, but...all the same, I almost wish I did not have to.

"Prime," begins Ironhide, hesitantly.

I nod, slowly, turning my attentions to Ratchet. "I'll speak with Skywarp, keep the sparkling warm and continue trying to feed her."

A nod, "Of course."

Unsure of how I feel about this all, I turn, and with Prowl keeping an even pace behind me, start off towards the brig. After an all too short bridge of time, I come to the Seeker's cell, and find him lying with his back to me. I think a moment on it, before dismissing Prowl. My Second in Commend nods obediently and obliges.

Taking a breath, I enter the pass-code for the crackling energy bars to deactivate, stepping inside the large cell. Skywarp lays on the berth, optics seemingly downcast, faceplate hidden. I see his wings twitch as I make my presence known fully, clearing my vocalizer and standing at attentions. Slowly, the darkly coloured Seeker pushed himself into a sitting position. He does not look at me, starring at the dull sunset painted flooring, crimson optics dim and slightly outlined from...crying.

Immediately feeling a strong sense of pity, I have to force myself to not make a move. "Skywarp, I take it?"

Still not meeting my azure eyes, he nods.

"I am Optimus Prime,"-a flinch- "and you are here for customary reasons. As you are a Decepticon, and are part of the Elite Trine; are you not?"

"I am..." the whisper is so quiet I question I heard it. But I did. The brig is silent other than the sounds of fans whirling in the distance, a constant reminder of time, a small check back into reality. But though I am surprised by the lack of suffocating tension hovering between us, there is something...strange...

It is in his optics... I can not place it.

Taking a breath, I remind myself of my intentions. This meeting can be quick...as long as I don't 'beat around the bush', as one of the children had put it once. "Skywarp, before anything else is said, I must inform you, you are not being kept here in the hopes of gaining information, and it is in my best interests to send you back to your own faction."

Something in his optics sparkle. He looks up, expression one of hope and astonishment, though he says nothing.

I continue, addressing the topic that must be discussed. "You did the right thing in bringing the sparkling here, Ra-"

"Is she alright?" I'm surprised by the urgency of his tones, the boldness in his expression, the worry in his eyes.

Promptly, I give a nod. "Affirmative. Ratchet is tending to the little one now, and, besides an unsettling emptiness in her tank, she is free from injury."

A quite audible sigh escapes the Seeker, and he visibly relaxes.

I pause a moment, reflecting on a memory file that brings up my slim knowledge of Seekers. Apparently, they are naturally parental, and are quite protective over the young. I suppose this would explain Skywarp's reaction.

Not putting any more thought into the matter, I continue seriously, "Skywarp, I am in need to know exactly what happened. My mechs did not pic up an Energon Signal at the crashed space shuttle, so where do you find the Seekerlet?"

Skywarp shakes his head. "I did find her in the shuttle," he says, appearing slightly more acquainted for, "she was trapped somewhere way deep..."

"Can you tell me the whole story?"

"From where I woke up?"

Woke up? Had he been shot? Curiosity claws at me, but I simply nod, "Yes."

" 'K... Well, when I came to, I heard all this wailing down the hall. Not knowing what else ta do, I fallowed the sound. I found her trapped under a pipe of sorts. I...didn't know what to do. I got us out of there- just in time too I might add, the whole thing was crumbling down!"

I raise an optical ridge at that. I know of Skywarp for his teleporting ability - I suppose that is the only reason he is included within the Elite - so...? "Could you have not teleported out of the...cave?"

Cheeks warming to red, he looks away, rubbing the back of his helm awkwardly, servos still locked within the statis-cuffs. "I... I... Guess I...didn't think of that..."

Not wanting to cause him discomfort or embarrassment, I quickly wave the matter off. "Never-mind it. You both are safe now."

It is in my hopes that the easy statement will lighten him some, but it appears it only succeeds in nipping his nervousness even more.

"Yeah..." he mumbles, looking unsure. "Anyway! So~" I listen as he speeds through the small story, ending when he arrived, saying. "And you know the rest."

Slumping forward in his seat, the teleporter suddenly has that strange look again... The look I just can't place...

Skywarp's tale is genuine as far as I can tell. Unsure of what else to do, he brought the sparkling to us. And as I said to him earlier, it was the right choice. Now only comes the matter of release. How am I to convince my officers to simply allow him to leave? Of course he will be monitored, but...

I do not enjoy this certain feeling in my tank. That I should not keep the young Seeker here. That I should get back to my duties as Prime and start to find a way to know who she is. It is unsettling, but as always, I show none of it.

Nodding, I say, wrapping up the matter in unnecessary politeness, "Yes. Now, you'll have to excuse me, I must attend to other matters. One of my mechs will come by shortly with Energon. This matter will be sorted out." I am about to add an inquiry concerning an unbalanced look decorating the Seeker's facepate, but I decide against it. I've done all I can to disguise this matter as passive, without breaking protocol; there's not much else I can do for one of Megatron soldiers other than grant customary rights any sane Leader would.

I leave without another word, masked faceplate set neutral, depicting nothing of the thoughts that roam my mind.

* * *

**~Starscream~**

**Disgusting.**  That's what I am. I see shadows, blurry blue figures looming above me, judging me, sneering at my pathetic display of weakness. What else could they be doing?

 _Whore..._ That's what I am; I lay there, let it happen, useless to do other.  _Pathetic..._ I should have fought harder, not allowed this revolting scent to mask me.  _Drone..._ I am weak. I am dirty. I am filthy.

The ache in my spark doesn't make sense... I am horrible... Flashes of pain and death drown me. Victims of my cruelty slam against my thoughts, screaming vengeance, spitting I deserve it. Deserve every bit of pain my frame holds. Deserve the sick, suffocating feeling that chokes me. Deserve to have my dignity ripped from me. Deserve to be violated. Deserve to be hurt. Deserve every condemning claw of hateful agony that wash over both body and mind. My processor replays every death I've mastered, every crime I've committed, every soul I've hurt. It throbs, spitting at me, revealing to me how stupid and pathetic I am. Showing, just how disgusting, ugly, and repulsive my worthless functioning has stretched to.

The sickening filth stained on my wings and between my thighs...is earned. The pain of lost dignity and perfection is a mirror, a truth. I am nothing. Vulgar and loathsome, I stare at the nauseating feeling stabbing my spark, and accept it, the gruesome knowledge that it is no given right to be born snapping at ever idea of hope that dare emerge from the blackness that now surrounds me.

Before I fade, though, I have to wonder where the figures that loomed above, laughing at my broken expense, dismissing my cries of anguish for foolish traits of a whore, and condemning me to the fires of the Pit with their pure, blueish beings, have went?

I do not know. I do not care. I relax into myself fully. And let blessed recharge, a break from the hell that storms my offensive existence to the universe, take me into its dark and comforting mask.

* * *

**~Thundercracker~**

**"Stars, please, please, _please_  wake up..."**  **I whisper, watching as Soundwave nods at Scrapper who casts one last pitying glance at my younger brother before leaving.**  My gaze again flicks to his passive yet pained faceplate, locking itself tight on the puffy rims of his optics, and the blueish stains of tears. I want to reach out, grasp him in a comforting, protective hold, and wipe those tears away. I want it to stop. I want to kill  _him._ I want  _him_ dead. I want to see  _his_ Energon splattered upon the cold ground, watch the life drain from  _his_ unforgiving gaze as  _he_  dies, Eblood drippling down from  _his_  black spark... I just want to leave, go away forever. It's too hard, too hard to face this... I just...cant. Can't do it. I don't know how, I don't know... I just don't know. First Skywarp has disappeared, and now...this. Why them? Why not me? It should have been me... I should have-

A hiccup breaks from my vocalizer. Scrap. I hurriedly brush the coolant from my crimson optics, remembering I am not alone.

"Thank you, Soundwave," I decide to say, quietly, solemnly, starring at the relaxed frame of Starscream, he looks so...untroubled, now, as if he no longer feels the hurt... My spark throbs, I look away and continue, "I'm not sure if I could have... What I would have done if..." I can't finish. I simply do not know how to.

Sitting across from me, stationed on the opposite side of the berth, is the Telepath himself. He nods at my ambiguous expression, mercifully stating the attempt of thanks inessential with, "Shows of gratitude: Unnecessary. Soundwave: Understands."

I sigh before I bother to stop the ex-vent of air, "Thanks," my voice is quiet, my tone grateful nonetheless.

Silence falls between us, but it is an okay silence. We sit and we wait, unable to do anything other. Starscream will wake when he wakes... Involuntarily, though, I find myself occasionally glancing up at the Third in Command, wondering, what had caused him to help...

Unsure, I had held my shivering brother, scared, angry, and all together, a mess. Soundwave had virtually come from nowhere, and his presence had allowed my processor to snap into reality. There were barely any words between us. It was as if an unspoken agreement just brightened to life. The Telepath's quarters were assigned not far away, and together, we quickly moved my limp brother there. He had fallen into unconsciousness seemingly seconds after Soundwave had arrived.

Soundwave had Hook, demanding to come alone and with medical supplies, I didn't hear the details of the conversation, but when Scrapper arrived in Hook's stead, supplying that the medic was ' _much_ too busy to attend to whatever trivial problem the TIC could have  _possibly_  acquired', I didn't know whether I wanted to kill him, or just scream at him to hurry up. Before Scrapper saw to Starscream, though, Soundwave put his pede down that this was never to be spoken of. Scrapper had been thoroughly sworn to secrecy when he laid eyes on the wounded frame of- ...when he laid eyes on my brother, my younger, fragile brother, who-who I had p-promised  _her_  th-that I-I'd...protect...keep safe...

I shake my helm, unwillingly to drown in pitiful self-guilt. I need to stay awake, calm.

I was in such a state when Scrapper worked that I could do nothing. Something about the Telepath's presence did indeed still calm me, but...I...couldn't...think. I couldn't believe it... Shock vibrated through me, I was practically choking on static. It didn't make sense... It couldn't make sense. How...how could this happen? Dreadful and sorrowful, I bowed my head, standing off in the shadows, crying to myself. It had happened again, but this time to Starscream...

Why?

Scrapper had seemed willing to help, surprisingly, and had even consulted with Soundwave to what story he would give to the other Constructicons. I had thought about snapping at him, my emotions still too hazed to see what he meant- but logic finally found me again, forcing me to realize his words. I innerly thanked Soundwave right then and there. I really hadn't...I just...

I'm grateful that he had been there, seeing logic whilst I lost myself to sorrow.

I shake my helm, just slightly, drawing into the present. Gently taking Starscream's sky-blue servo in my own, I give it a comforting squeeze, finally in check enough to softly nudge at the bond between us. I can feel nothing other than pain, but, my systems calmer than before, I push deeper, willing myself to give off nothing but quiet warmth.  _I'm here, Starscream, right here, it's Thundercracker. You're okay now, you're safe._

* * *

**~Starscream~**

_**Safe?**_ I do not understand. I hear the words again.

_You are safe... Come back..._

The thoughts, they are gentle, kind, they are reassuring, beckoning; I want to glide towards them, grasp the subtle warmth that calls for me, hold tight the peacefulness that promises love.

But I cower, holding back. Thoughts swirl to life, erupting in a whirlpool of dark and deadly emotions that rip at my very core, reminding me of Energon, reminding me of failures, reminding me of...

I cannot go towards the warmth. I am too dirty, undeserving.

Whimpering at the rush of feeling, I feel myself innerly curling into a tight ball, processor willing to forget the feeling of  _him_ inside me. The pain that flooded my senors as I was taken and  _used_. And that sick, twisted pleasure I was forced into bearing... It was wrong... I am wrong... Why...why did I...?

 _"Admit it"_ , something seems to whisper,  _"you liked it."_

I freeze. Energon running cold in my cables. Thoughts stopping, as if shocked.

My spark, tortured, quivering, and a mess of shattered dreams, finally seems to break under the weight of the words.

And I scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed, though I find it terribly....sad. 
> 
> Please leave a comment and have a wonderful day :)

**Author's Note:**

> Well there's the Prologue! I hope you enjoyed! ^_^ As I said, any comments would be absolutely lovely!
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> ~Scarlet


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